guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
