her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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