It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
