I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
