remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
