I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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