white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
