You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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