Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
