no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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