Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize