ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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