the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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