Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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