no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
