How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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