I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
