You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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