matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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