Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
