god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
