god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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