Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I love you. Go after that dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
