I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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