You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Houston, we have a squirter
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
