she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize