glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize