Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize