Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize