Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
