I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
