I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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