last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
