oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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