ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
