Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize