So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
