i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
