I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He shit in the fireplace
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
