i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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