I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
