Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
