but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
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I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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