Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
