her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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