I just made out with a guy for $7.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
