We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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