why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
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Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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