I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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