The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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