im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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