I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
