I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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