he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
