The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
