That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize