I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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