So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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