I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Randomize
