Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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