Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
