dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize