Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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