I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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