smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she peed on how many people?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
