Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
